Choosing to Release Offense and Prioritize Our Relationship With God

Offense is an inevitable part of life, and it can come in many different forms. Whether it's a hurtful word, an action that feels like a betrayal, or a feeling of being ignored, the offense can affect everyone.

It's important to understand how to handle offense when it comes and to prioritize forgiveness and moving forward. We will explore the different types of offense, how to handle them, and why it's crucial to release offense and prioritize our relationship with God.

Jesus' Teaching on Offense and Forgiveness

Jesus' lessons on forgiveness and the impact of offense are fundamental to his ministry, highlighting the significance of forgiveness and the common occurrence of offense.

Offense Is Inevitable

Jesus himself acknowledged that offense is unavoidable, stating, "It is impossible that no offenses should come"(Luke 17:1). This acknowledgment reminds us that everyone will experience offense at some point in their lives, and it's a natural part of human interaction and relationships.

The Necessity of Forgiveness

Jesus emphasized the necessity of forgiveness when addressing offenses, urging his disciples to forgive those who have wronged them. He states this in Luke 17:4 "Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

The Call to Be Role Models of Forgiveness

As followers of Christ, we are called to be role models of forgiveness, just as Jesus exemplified forgiveness in his teachings and actions. By embodying forgiveness, we not only reflect the character of God but also set an example for others to follow.

The Bible teaches the importance of forgiveness when dealing with offenses. In Matthew 18:21–22, Jesus emphasizes the need for unlimited forgiveness, stating, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" This illustrates that forgiveness is not limited and should be offered generously.

Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is emphasized throughout the New Testament, and it is a cornerstone of Christian living. The ability to forgive reflects the love and grace of God and is essential for maintaining healthy and meaningful relationships. Ephesians 4:32 encourages believers to "be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

The Measure of Spirituality of Forgiveness

One's capacity for forgiving others and handling wrongdoings is frequently a measure of spirituality. According to the Bible, forgiveness is a key indicator of a person's spiritual maturity. The real measure of spirituality is not based on outward actions, such as singing in the choir or speaking in tongues, but rather on the ability to forgive others. This is a challenging aspect of spirituality, but it is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships.

Matthew 6:14–15: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." This verse highlights the importance of forgiveness in the Christian faith and its direct connection to one's spiritual standing.

Three Types of Offense: Imagined, Accidental, and Actual

Offense can manifest in various ways, encompassing imagined, accidental, and actual forms. Understanding these different types of offense can provide clarity in navigating through challenging situations and applying forgiveness as advocated by Jesus.

Imagined Offense

This type of offense involves perceiving offense where none exists, leading to the magnification of minor misunderstandings and negative assumptions. It often stems from an individual's subjective interpretation of others' actions or behaviors, resulting in feelings of hurt and resentment.

Accidental Offense

Accidental offense occurs when someone unintentionally offends, highlighting the need for understanding and spiritual discernment in such situations. It may stem from miscommunication, misunderstandings, or unintended actions that impact others negatively.

Actual Offense

Actual offense entails deliberate acts or statements that offend, calling for repentance and prayer in response, as Jesus advised. This form of offense requires a conscious choice to extend forgiveness, even in the face of deliberate hurt or betrayal.

Release Your Offense to God and Trust Him to Bring Healing and Restoration

Responding to Offense: The Example of Paul and the Viper

When faced with offense, individuals can turn to the example of Paul and the Viper written in the bible as a guide for their response (Acts 28:3). "As Paul gathered an armful of sticks and was laying them on the fire, a poisonous snake, driven out by the heat, bit him on the hand."

Lessons from Paul's Response:

• Shake it off: Just as Paul shook off the Viper, individuals can choose to shake off offense and not allow it to control their emotions and actions.

• Release to God: Paul's immediate response was to cast the Viper into the fire. Similarly, individuals can release their offense to God, trusting in His ability to bring healing and restoration.

• Choose forgiveness: Instead of nursing, rehearsing, or dispersing the offense, individuals can choose to reverse it by forgiving the offender and seeking spiritual freedom through forgiveness.

By drawing from the example of Paul and the Viper, individuals can find inspiration to respond to offense with grace, forgiveness, and steadfast faith in God's ability to bring healing and restoration.

Four Options for Handling Offense

When faced with an offense, individuals have four primary options for handling it. Each option carries its own implications and consequences, ultimately shaping the individual's emotional and spiritual well-being. Understanding these options can empower individuals to make intentional choices in how they respond to offense.

Nurse the Offense

Nursing the offense involves dwelling on the hurt, seeking attention, and fostering a sense of victimhood. This option perpetuates negative emotions and hinders the individual's ability to move forward.

Rehearse the Offense

Rehearsing the offense entails replaying the hurtful incident in one's mind, amplifying its significance, and internalizing negative emotions. This repetitive rehearsal deepens the emotional impact of the offense and prolongs its influence over the individual.

Disperse the Offense

Dispersing the offense involves sharing it with others, seeking validation for one's feelings, and enlisting support in nurturing the offense. This option can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and draw others into emotional turmoil.

Reverse the Offense

Reversing the offense requires choosing forgiveness, releasing the hurt, and seeking healing and restoration. This option empowers individuals to overcome the negative impact of offense, allowing them to move forward in their spiritual journey and maintain emotional well-being.

Letting Go of Offense: The Monkey Trap Analogy

When it comes to dealing with offense, the analogy of the monkey trap provides valuable insight. The documentary on the Bushmen of Africa illustrates how monkeys are caught by placing a piece of fruit inside a tree or between rocks, creating a small hole that allows the monkey's hand to slip in. However, when the monkey grabs the fruit and makes a fist, it cannot pull its hand out. Despite this, the monkey refuses to let go of the fruit, resulting in its capture.

This analogy serves as a powerful reminder that holding onto offense is like the monkey holding onto the fruit. It traps individuals and prevents them from moving forward. Just as the monkey could choose to release the fruit and free itself, individuals can choose to release offense and experience freedom.

By recognizing the deadly nature of offense and the spiritual attack behind it, individuals can make the conscious decision to let go and release their grip on offense. This act of releasing offense is akin to opening the hand to release the fruit, allowing individuals to move forward in their spiritual journey.

Embracing Forgiveness and Letting Go of Offense,

Handling offense can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it is an inevitable part of life. Good people, friends, and family members all have the potential to offend, and it's important to be prepared for it.

The Bible teaches the importance of forgiveness in dealing with offense, and Jesus emphasizes the need for unlimited forgiveness.

While it may be easier said than done, forgiveness is crucial for spiritual growth and healthy relationships. The ability to forgive reflects the love and grace of God, and it is essential for personal and spiritual development.

Choosing to release offense and prioritize our relationship with God is an essential aspect of spiritual growth and emotional well-being. By embracing forgiveness and letting go of offense, individuals can experience healing, restoration, and a deeper connection with God.