Marriage & Singleness, Part One
God’s Blueprint for Marriage & Singleness: Building Strong Relationships
Marriage and singleness are two important seasons of life that God has designed with a purpose. Whether someone is married, single, or preparing for a future relationship, it is essential to understand God’s plan and build relationships on a solid foundation. The Bible provides a clear blueprint for marriage, while also affirming the value of singleness and its purpose in God's Kingdom.
We will explore biblical principles for both marriage and singleness, offering encouragement and wisdom for every season of life.
Marriage: A Covenant, Not a Contract
One of the most fundamental truths about marriage is that it is not merely a contract but a covenant. Unlike a contract, which is based on mutual benefits and can be easily broken, a covenant is a sacred agreement that reflects God's unchanging love.
"A cord of three strands is not easily broken." – Ecclesiastes 4:12
Marriage is meant to include not just the husband and wife, but God at the center. When a marriage is built on God's principles, it has a supernatural strength that allows couples to navigate the storms of life together.
The Purpose of Marriage
Many people enter marriage with the expectation that it will make them happy. While marriage can bring joy, its primary purpose is not happiness but holiness. God designed marriage as a tool for spiritual growth, teaching selflessness, patience, and unconditional love.
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." – Ephesians 5:21
God's design for marriage is a partnership where both spouses uplift and support one another. It is not about one person dominating the other but about mutual respect, love, and servanthood.
Partners in Prayer
One of the most powerful aspects of a God-centered marriage is the ability to pray together. Prayer strengthens the bond between spouses and invites God’s presence into the relationship.
"If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven." – Matthew 18:19
A couple that prays together stays together. Prayer is not just for difficult seasons but should be a daily practice that aligns both hearts with God’s will.
The Marriage Report Card
It's easy to assume that a marriage is going well, but regular self-examination is necessary. Just as schools issue report cards to assess progress, couples should periodically evaluate their marriage.
Are you growing together spiritually?
Are you communicating well?
Are you prioritizing each other?
By assessing the health of a marriage, couples can address issues before they become major problems.
Singleness: A Time of Preparation and Purpose
While society often portrays singleness as a waiting period or something to be "fixed," the Bible presents it as a season of purpose. Singleness is not about waiting for someone to complete you—because in Christ, you are already complete.
"You are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." – Colossians 2:10
Using Singleness for God's Glory
Paul, one of the greatest apostles, was single and saw it as an opportunity to serve God fully. Singleness is a time for personal growth, deepening one’s relationship with God, and preparing for the future.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." – Isaiah 40:31
Instead of focusing on what is missing, singles should focus on what God is doing in their lives. This season can be a time of great spiritual growth, developing talents, and building strong friendships.
Marriage is Not the Goal—Christ Is
While marriage is a beautiful gift, it is not the ultimate goal of life—knowing and serving Christ is. Many singles believe that marriage will solve their problems or bring lasting fulfillment, but only God can provide true joy and purpose.
Jesus Himself was single, yet He lived the most fulfilling life possible. The goal is not to find another person to complete you, but to find completeness in Christ.
Common Pitfalls in Marriage and How to Overcome Them
Even the strongest marriages face challenges. Here are some common struggles and how to overcome them:
1. Selfishness
Most marital problems stem from selfishness—when one or both partners prioritize their own needs over the relationship. The solution? Serve one another.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." – Philippians 2:3
Marriage flourishes when both partners focus on giving rather than receiving.
2. Lack of Communication
Poor communication leads to misunderstandings and distance. Healthy marriages require open and honest conversations.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." – James 1:19
Listening is just as important as speaking. When conflicts arise, seek to understand rather than just respond.
3. Neglecting God’s Role
A marriage without God will struggle. Keeping Christ at the center strengthens the relationship.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." – Psalm 127:1
Regularly attending church together, reading the Bible, and praying as a couple will keep your marriage strong.
God’s Design for Physical Intimacy in Marriage
Sex is often misunderstood in both Christian and secular circles. While the world either distorts or cheapens it, the Bible presents sex as a gift from God within the covenant of marriage.
"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." – 1 Corinthians 7:3
Sex is not just a physical act but a spiritual connection that strengthens the marital bond. It should be approached with love, respect, and mutual care.
The Enemy’s Attack on Marriages
The enemy seeks to destroy marriages because they reflect God's love. Temptation, division, and distractions are some of the tools he uses.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." – John 10:10
By guarding their hearts, minds, and relationships, couples can resist the enemy’s attacks.
Bringing Your Marriage and Singleness to Church
Whether married or single, one of the best decisions you can make is to stay connected to a local church. God speaks through His Word, through messages, and through Christian community.
One powerful example is a couple who had drifted apart but decided to attend church regularly. After just a few weeks of hearing God’s Word, they felt conviction, sought forgiveness, and began rebuilding their marriage.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish." – Proverbs 29:18
When you seek God first, everything else falls into place. Marriage and singleness should both be lived with purpose, focused on God's plan.
The Encouragement
Whether you are married or single, remember that God has a plan for your life. Marriage is a blessing, but so is singleness. Both are seasons where God wants to mold, refine, and use you for His glory.
As you seek to honor God in your relationships, trust that He will guide you. Lean on Him, grow in faith, and embrace the season you're in with confidence and joy.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." – Proverbs 3:5-6
