The Pursuit Of A Thriving Marriage
The Pursuit of a Thriving Marriage: Moving from Duty to Delight
In the journey of life, few relationships hold as much significance as marriage. It's a sacred bond, designed not just for companionship, but as a reflection of divine love and a crucible for personal growth. Yet, in the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's all too easy to let our marriages slip into autopilot, giving them only the leftovers of our time, energy, and creativity. Today, let's explore how we can shift our perspective and prioritize our marriages, moving from a sense of duty to one of delight.
The Divine Purpose of Marriage
Genesis 2:24 tells us, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This simple verse packs a wealth of wisdom about the purpose and priority of marriage. It speaks of leaving, cleaving, and becoming one - a lifelong process of growing together.
But why did God design marriage in the first place? It's not just about personal happiness or having a roommate to share bills with. The purpose of marriage is multifaceted:
To reflect God's love to the world
To teach us how to serve selflessly
To prioritize our human relationships correctly
Interestingly, the purpose of marriage isn't to make us happy - it's to give us an opportunity to make someone else happy. This shift in perspective can transform how we approach our marital relationships.
Prioritizing Your Spouse
In the hierarchy of earthly relationships, our spouse should come second only to God. This means putting them before parents, children, work, or personal pursuits. It's about continually choosing your spouse, day after day, living out the vows you made on your wedding day.
But what does this look like practically? It means spending quality time together, communicating openly, encouraging one another, and yes - even spoiling your spouse instead of your kids! It's about pursuing your partner continually, not treating them like a trophy to be won and then ignored.
The Towel Principle: Serving vs Being Served
Jesus set the ultimate example of servanthood when He washed His disciples' feet. He said, "I didn't come to be served, but to serve." This principle applies powerfully to marriage. Instead of throwing in the towel when things get tough, we're called to pick up the towel and serve our spouse.
This requires humility - a willingness to put our ego aside and ask, "God, what do you want me to do to serve my spouse today?" It's not about finding the right person to marry, but about being the right person in your marriage.
Moving from Duty to Delight
Many of us approach marriage out of a sense of duty. We try hard to be patient, kind, and supportive because that's what we're supposed to do. But what if we could shift our perspective to one of delight? What if we could genuinely enjoy being patient with our spouse, find pleasure in showing kindness, and delight in supporting them?
This shift from duty to delight doesn't happen overnight, but it's possible with intentional effort and divine help. Here are four practical steps to transform your marriage:
Love your spouse even when you don't like them. This means continuing to show love through actions, even when feelings are rocky.
Stop fighting each other and start fighting the problem together. Remember, you're on the same team!
Believe that you can have a better marriage. Don't settle for mediocrity - envision the marriage God wants for you.
Commit to whatever it takes. Like the servants at the wedding in Cana, be ready to do whatever Jesus says, even if it doesn't make sense at first.
The Miracle of Transformed Marriages
In John 2, we see Jesus perform His first miracle at a wedding - turning water into wine. This story holds a powerful lesson for our marriages. When the wine ran out (a major social blunder in that culture), Mary told the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it."
This is the key to seeing miracles in our marriages. When we're willing to obey God's instructions - even when they're difficult or don't make sense - we open the door for His transformative power to work.
Maybe God is asking you to forgive when you don't feel like it. Perhaps He's prompting you to apologize first. Or maybe He's calling you to prioritize your marriage in a new way. Whatever He's saying, the invitation is clear: "Whatever He says to you, do it."
A Call to Action
As we reflect on these truths, let's not just be hearers of the word, but doers also. Here are some questions to ponder:
Do you need to make your marriage a priority?
Are you asking God to make your marriage healthy again?
Are you willing to be second and serve your spouse?
Remember, faith is always active. It requires us to do something. Today, you might not need to make drastic changes, but perhaps you need to take a small step of faith towards prioritizing your marriage.
Maybe it's scheduling a date night, writing a heartfelt note of appreciation, or simply praying together before bed. Whatever it is, invite God into your marriage afresh today.
In Conclusion
Marriage is not just about finding the right person, but about becoming the right person. It's about reflecting God's love, serving selflessly, and growing together. As we shift our focus from seeking personal happiness to bringing joy to our spouse, we open the door for God to work miracles in our relationships.
Let's move from approaching marriage as a duty to embracing it as a delight. Let's pick up the towel of service, commit to whatever it takes, and watch as God transforms our marriages from good to great, from fractured to whole, from dutiful to delightful.
After all, a thriving marriage is not just a blessing to the couple involved - it's a powerful testimony to a watching world of God's love, grace, and transformative power.
