Lasting Love, Part Two - God’s Design For Marriage

Lasting Love, Part Two - God's Design for Marriage

In our first Lasting Love message, I talked about the idea that God designed your marriage to go the distance. In Lasting Love, Part Two, we’ll share more powerful truths on Lasting Love. Brace yourselves because I'll be dropping some serious truth bombs that may challenge you. But remember, I'm here to support and pray for you as you process these truths.

Marriages Under Attack

First and foremost, we need to acknowledge that marriages are under attack. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. The very institution of marriage is facing relentless assaults. Your own marriage is constantly under threat. If you've been married for more than a week, you've probably experienced this firsthand. Why are our marriages under attack? It's because marriage is a God thing.

Marriage Is A Precious Gift

God's Divine Design for Marriage

Marriage is not just a human invention or a cultural construct. It is a God-ordained institution. God thought it up, created it, and presented it to humanity as a precious gift. While the world may fail to grasp its significance, marriage is a blessing from God. It adds value and enhances our lives. God is at the center of marriage, and that's precisely why Satan is determined to destroy it.

The Attack on Marriages Today

We are witnessing a growing movement that seeks to undermine and diminish the importance of marriage. Marriage is being diluted, discredited, and confused. The lines between one man and one woman are intentionally blurred. Society is losing sight of what it means to be a man or a woman. However, just because the world fails to recognize the value of marriage doesn't mean it is diminishing in God's eyes. In fact, marriage matters deeply to God because He is its creator and giver.

The Supernatural Power of Marriage

The world often overlooks the invisible or supernatural side of marriage. When God brings two individuals together in marriage, something extraordinary happens in the spiritual realm. They are bound together in a covenant, and supernatural power is infused into their relationship. Prayer becomes a potent force, and agreement between spouses carries immense power. The divine connection between husband and wife transcends mere companionship. It is a supernatural bond that empowers them to overcome challenges and fulfill God's purposes together.

Becoming More Like Christ Through Marriage

Marriage provides a unique opportunity for personal growth and spiritual transformation. It is within the context of marriage that we learn the essence of true servanthood. Jesus set the example by coming not to be served but to serve. In a marriage relationship, we have the chance to emulate Christ's selflessness and sacrificial love. Thus, marriage becomes a catalyst for becoming more Christ-like.

God's Design for the Long Haul

God's original intention for marriage was for it to endure and flourish. Divorce was not part of His plan. In Matthew Chapter 19, we find the Pharisees questioning Jesus about divorce. Jesus responds by affirming the permanence of marriage. He reminds them that from the beginning, God created marriage as a lifelong union between one man and one woman. Although Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of hearts, it was never meant to be this way.

Warning Signs of a Hardened Heart

Six Signs of a Hardened Heart

Imagine your marriage as the dashboard of a car, complete with lights, indicators, and gauges that signal whether things are running smoothly. Just like these warning signals on a dashboard, your marriage also has signs that indicate potential problems. Ignoring these signs can lead to a breakdown on the side of the road or even a major crash and burn. These signs serve as warning lights, alerting you to the state of your heart.

Let's explore some indications of a hard heart that can harm your marriage. The first sign is becoming insensitive. When you start treating your spouse like a bull in a china closet, disregarding their feelings, opinions, and needs, it's a clear warning sign. The second sign is being easily offended, where even small issues escalate into crises, arguments, and unnecessary drama. This heightened sensitivity indicates a hardened heart. Loss of passion, both in the marriage and in the bedroom, is the third sign. When the fire and excitement fade away, it's time to take notice. The fourth sign is ingratitude, when you no longer appreciate your marriage or your partner. Taking your spouse for granted and failing to recognize their positive qualities is dangerous territory. Your spouse should be second only to Jesus in terms of importance, and when you stop seeing the best in your spouse, you become critical and start picking things apart because you don’t see the best in them. Lastly, if you've reached a point of not caring anymore. At one time, you used to care about everything, but now, all of a sudden, you’ve come to the place where you don’t care anymore. You used to care, but now you don’t care. If you find yourself recognizing any of these signs, then you have some work to do.

Jesus cautioned us against allowing anyone to divide us in our marriages, as Satan tirelessly works to sow division. However, it's essential to understand that love alone cannot save your marriage. While love is crucial and serves as the foundation, it's not sufficient on its own. Surprisingly, many couples who end up divorcing still admit to loving each other. Love must be accompanied by commitment and action to thrive. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, but it also requires discipline.

Marriage is no walk in the park; it's more like Jurassic Park. Here are some key principles for building a lasting marriage. Firstly, it's crucial to address the baggage each person brings into the relationship. Every marriage has baggage because we bring our individual histories and experiences with us. In-laws, previous marriages, blended families, debt, grudges, and unreal expectations are all examples of baggage that can weigh down a marriage. Recognizing and dealing with these issues is essential. Criticism is another red flag that signals the presence of baggage. Jesus' words in Matthew 7:3 shed light on this issue. Why focus on the speck in your spouse's eye while ignoring the plank in your own? It's important to work on improving yourself before attempting to fix your spouse. Unrealistic expectations often lead us to believe we can mold our spouse into the person we desire, but this approach is flawed.

Building a successful marriage requires discipline and self-reflection. Love alone is not enough; it's the promise and commitment that sustain the love. By addressing baggage and understanding the role of discipline in love, you can navigate the challenges of marriage and build a strong and lasting relationship. 

Maintain Intimacy

Intimacy is a crucial component of any marriage. While it encompasses physical intimacy, it also extends to emotional and spiritual connections. Couples must prioritize spending quality time together, nurturing their bond and deepening their understanding of one another. This can be achieved through shared activities, open communication, and a willingness to meet each other's needs. By fostering intimacy in all its dimensions, couples can strengthen their connection and build a solid framework for their marriage.

Maintain Unity and Support In Prayer

Pray Together

Prayer holds immense power in a marriage. It allows couples to seek guidance, find solace, and grow together spiritually. While joint prayer is ideal, the important aspect is being aligned in faith and praying for common goals and concerns. Even if partners have different prayer habits, maintaining a sense of unity and support in prayer can have a profound impact on the relationship. By inviting God into their marriage and seeking His wisdom and grace, couples can navigate challenges and experience a deeper spiritual connection.

Problem Solving

Marriage often presents obstacles and disagreements that require resolution. Instead of fighting against each other, couples should approach these challenges as a team, standing together to overcome them. Effective problem-solving involves active listening, empathy, and compromise. It requires a willingness to understand each other's perspectives and find mutually beneficial solutions. By embracing a collaborative mindset and tackling problems as allies, couples can strengthen their partnership and build a harmonious home.

A successful and enduring marriage requires continuous investment and effort from both partners. We have explored essential aspects of building a thriving marital relationship. From selflessness and servanthood to compatibility and flexibility, these principles lay the groundwork for a strong and lasting bond. Maintaining intimacy, praying together, and problem-solving as a team contribute to the growth and resilience of a marriage. By embracing these key elements and consistently applying them, couples can cultivate a love that withstands the test of time.

Marriage is a journey of growth, transformation, and deep connection. It is not without its challenges, but with dedication and a commitment to these principles, couples can navigate the ups and downs, creating a solid foundation for a lifelong partnership. Remember, a successful marriage is not built overnight; it is an ongoing process that requires patience, forgiveness, and a willingness to learn and adapt. May your journey together be filled with love, joy, and shared experiences, as you build a marriage that stands the test of time.