Under Construction (Part One) Building A Strong Marriage
Marriage is meant to last a lifetime. This series “Under Construction” is not meant to make anyone feel bad about their current situation, but rather to help those who are in a marriage relationship get the most out of it. We aim to provide guidance and support to married couples who want to strengthen and improve their marriages.
Note that this series is not meant to criticize or judge anyone who is divorced, single again, or going through a divorce. We understand that every individual and their circumstance is unique, and our goal is to help those who are currently in a marriage and looking for ways to enhance their relationship.
The Design of Marriage
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that is designed by God to last a lifetime. Regardless of your current situation, we acknowledge that your marriage is meant to be a lasting union. While circumstances can vary, and not all marriages are perfect, it is important to understand that the intention behind marriage is for it to endure all challenges and difficulties.
Three Key Elements of a Strong Marriage: Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding
The Role of Love in Marriage
To understand that love is not the solution to all problems in a marriage. Love alone cannot fix communication issues, financial problems, or any other challenges that may arise. Instead, it is the commitment to the marriage and the willingness to work through these issues together that will lead to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
The Three Key Elements of a Strong Marriage
To build a strong and lasting marriage, three key elements are essential. These elements are not based solely on love but require intentional actions and effort from both partners.
The Importance of Wisdom
Wisdom plays a crucial role in a successful marriage. Constantly ask yourself, "What is the wise thing to do?" This question helps guide decision-making and encourages actions that are beneficial for the marriage. Wisdom helps couples navigate challenges and make choices that will ultimately strengthen their relationship.
Proverbs 24:3-4 says, "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with precious and pleasant riches."
The Need for Knowledge About Your Spouse
Knowledge about your spouse is another key element in a strong marriage. Becoming a student of your spouse involves understanding their likes, dislikes, rhythms, and moods. Continually learning about your spouse helps you connect on a deeper level and fosters a stronger bond.
Prioritize your spouse's needs and desires and make an effort to meet them. This requires active listening, open communication, and a genuine interest in their well-being. By continually learning about your spouse, you can better understand their needs and create a more harmonious and fulfilling marriage.
Understanding Your Spouse's Imperfections
Lastly, it is crucial to recognize and accept your spouse's imperfections. No one is perfect, and expecting perfection from your spouse will only lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead, focus on embracing and understanding their flaws and shortcomings.
Marriage is about growth and learning together. Embracing your spouse's imperfections allows for an environment of grace, forgiveness, and growth. Remember that marriage is a partnership, and both partners should strive to support and uplift each other.
Matthew 7:3-5 says, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
Great Marriages Require Great Servants
Marriage is not about personal happiness, but about making your spouse happy. Being a great servant means putting your spouse's needs before your own and actively working to meet their needs. Serving your spouse creates a loving and supportive environment that fosters a strong and lasting marriage.
There's No Such Thing as Incompatibility
Many couples believe that incompatibility is the cause of their marital problems. However, incompatibility is not the issue; inflexibility is. Every married couple is incompatible because no two people are exactly alike. The key is to be willing to change, compromise, and work together to overcome challenges.
Marriage is a journey of continual learning and growth. It requires self-reflection, humility, and a commitment to serving your spouse. Great marriages are built on the foundation of great servants, by embracing unselfishness and putting your spouse's needs first.
How Am I Doing As A Spouse? Look In The Marriage Mirror.
The Marriage Mirror: Reflecting Your Actions and Attitude
In marriage, the wife is a reflection of the husband. How the husband treats his wife greatly influences her emotions, attitude, and overall well-being. When a husband treats his wife with love, respect, and kindness, she becomes more beautiful and joyful. On the other hand, when a husband mistreats his wife, she can become sad, tired, and defeated.
Improving your marriage starts with improving yourself. Instead of focusing on changing your spouse, focus on changing yourself. Take a long, hard look in the "marriage mirror" and ask yourself, "How am I doing as a spouse?" Are you bringing joy, encouragement, and love to your marriage, or are you draining the life out of your spouse?
The Family That Prays Together Stays Together
One of the most important factors is pursuing God together as a family. The saying "the family that prays together stays together" holds a lot of truth. Here are a few reasons why:
● The importance of pursuing God together: When a couple and their family prioritize their relationship with God, they are aligning their values and priorities. By seeking God's guidance and wisdom together, they build a strong marriage foundation.
· ● The benefits of church and spiritual support: Being actively involved in a church community provides spiritual support and encouragement. It allows couples to connect with other like-minded individuals striving to build strong marriages. Attending church together can also be a time of spiritual growth and reflection as a family.
· ● Prayer as a powerful tool in marriage: Prayer is a powerful tool that can strengthen the bond between a husband and wife. It allows them to communicate their desires, concerns, and gratitude to God. Praying together as a family can also foster a sense of unity and intimacy in the marriage relationship.
· ● Keeping your marriage under the umbrella of the church: Staying connected to the church and seeking spiritual guidance can provide accountability and support for couples. It can help them navigate challenges and seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders.
Building a strong and lasting marriage requires intentional effort. By pursuing God together, seeking support from the church, utilizing prayer, and staying connected to a spiritual community, couples can create a solid foundation for their marriage to thrive.
Seek Pastoral Counsel When Facing Difficulties In Your Marriage.
You Need a Pastor in Your Life
A pastor provides guidance, support, and encouragement, helping couples navigate through the ups and downs of married life. They offer wisdom and knowledge that can help strengthen your relationship and provide a fresh perspective on challenges.
Seeking pastoral counsel is crucial when facing difficulties in your marriage. A pastor can provide biblical insight and help you apply God's principles to your situation. They can offer guidance on communication, conflict resolution, and building a strong foundation of love and trust.
Take Action Today, It Could Save Your Marriage
If you're in a marriage that is struggling, it's important to take immediate action. Don't wait for the perfect moment or for things to magically get better on their own. Procrastination can only make matters worse and cause further damage to your relationship.
One crucial step you can take is to apologize, repent, or show kindness to your spouse. Admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions can go a long way in healing a broken marriage. Showing kindness and love, even in difficult times, can help restore trust and create a more positive environment.
Remember, every marriage has its ups and downs, but with God's guidance and support, you can overcome any challenge. Stay committed, seek wisdom, and never stop learning about your spouse. Together, you can build a marriage that is strong, resilient, and fulfilling.
